Wednesday, September 2, 2009


Every mom has this day. Hopefully not very many. The Lucky few only have a couple. My friend who I lovingly refer to as my twin, had one yesterday. Her story reminded my of my TERRIBLE, ROTTEN, HORRIBLE, NO GOOD, VERY BAD DAY that I had one Halloween, a couple of years ago. If I don't write about it I'll probably forget it. And that was a day that deserves to be remembered.

I had such high hopes for that day, when the sun came up that morning. I had planned out the perfect Halloween. Here was the plan:

Noon - After lunch dress the boys up in their costumes and go down town to trick or treat
The Brain was ready to be - Calvin (from Calvin and Hobbes) He had a red over sized shirt that I drew black stripes on, black shorts, red converse all star sneakers, and a little tiger beanie baby for Hobbes. We were going to spike his hair.
Mr. Fingers was to be - Denise the Menise. He had a white t-shirt that I had drawn red stripes on, overalls, and a sling shot for his back pocket.
The Snake was a little baby, with a big, bald, perfectly round, head. He was to be - Charlie Brown. We had the classic yellow Charlie Brown shirt for him, black sweats, a stuffed snoopy for him to carry, and the best of all... we were going to paint the classic Charlie Brown squiggle hair on the back of his head.

I know, so cute.

2:30 - Get back from trick or treating down town, so I could start the dinner in a pumpkin. Never done one before. Looked like it took lots of time, so I wanted to give myself the afternoon to make it.

5:00 - Eat dinner (the FABULOUS dinner in a pumpkin)

6:30 - Attend the Trunk or Treat at the Church

7:00 - allow the children to have a couple of pieces of candy

8:00 - send happy children to bed

That would have been a nice day. But here is what really happened:

Things went south when the boy's dad (my then husband) called to say he had an appointment and wouldn't be home 'till a little later. I told him we would wait for him, so we could go down town trick or treating together as planned. Well, he didn't roll through the door 'till 2:30.

In the mean time, the afternoon was melt down central. Mr. Fingers, and The Snake refused to wear their costumes. They were acting like they were afraid of them or something. So after MUCH fuss, I finally caved on every one being matchy matchy, and let them be what they wanted to be for the day. Mr. Fingers ended up being a football player, and the Snake was Yoda (costumes that were kicking around my dress up box). When my ex finally came home, we headed off to the down town event.

When we got back things got really exciting. I caved AGAIN and let them have one piece of candy when we walked through the door. I put The Snake in his high chair with a sucker and started on dinner (it is now 4:30 and dinner takes and hour to bake... UGGG!).

The Snake dropped his sucker.

I picked it up and rinsed it off, then gave it back.

Then he got it stuck in the few wisps of hair on his baby head.

Fine, I went and put him in the bathtub.

While the water was running, Mr Fingers runs into the bathroom screaming. He had a splinter in his finger from the wood in the window seal. I couldn't get it out with my fingers, I needed a needle. I told him to wait in the bathroom.

I came back with the needle and a lighter to sterilise it. When I lite the flame, Mr. Fingers screamed bloody murder and ran down the hall crying, "Don't burn my finger off."

Completely exasperated at this point, I realize I need to turn off the water in The Snake's tub. I turn to him and see... that he has pooped in the tub and is eating it.

I sat down in the middle of the bathroom and cried.

Once I came to my senses, I had "Dad" take care of Mr. Finger's finger, I got the baby all cleaned up. Now it is 5:00.

I finally started to make dinner... I was so determined to make that blasted dinner in a pumpkin (I should have just sent "Dad" to McDonald's or something)

6:30 rolls around and dinner wasn't out of the oven yet, so I sent the two older boys with their Dad to the Trunk or Treat at the Church.

They got home, and we ate my DINNER IN A PUMPKIN at 8:00. Because dinner was so late, the kids had eaten so much candy... bed time was impossible.

What did I learn from that day?
-Dinner in a Pumpkin is dang yummy... especially if your determined to eat it, and like it.
-I don't get to pick out what my kids are for Halloween (even when my idea is better)
-don't sterilize the needle in front of the patient
-Babies don't die when they eat their own fesses
-The best laid plans.... oh you know the rest.


  1. Oh twin, you don't have to apologise for laughing at my post... no, cut up baby pictures aren't funny, even a day later, but at least it was only pictures and not an eye or little fingers or anything else that would have been really serious....

    I think I remember your no good, terrible, very bad day! Although I thought there was something involving your hair and a bad dye job involved. Or did you guys try to redo the costume thing the next year in hopes of it turning out better. I thought you and the boys Dad were going to be Blondie and Dagwood, or something.

    Thanks for the laugh... it is always good to see the reality of other mom's lives, sometimes rather than the 'pefect' that we tend to put on for others.

  2. How funny. Why do we set ourselves up for preconceived notions of how things need to go. Once when Ken was going to have the kids all day I told him just plan for 10 things to go absolutely wrong today and that will be an average day.