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Thursday, November 25, 2010

My Christmas Letter

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
WHEN IN ALL OF OUR QUIET LITTLE HOUSE
NOT A TV WAS STIRRING.
NO NICKELODEON,
NO MICKEY MOUSE.
THE STOCKINGS WERE HUNG ABOVE THE FIREPLACE WITH CARE
IN HOPES THAT SAINT FINGERS CLAUSE SOON WOULD BE THERE.
THE SNAKE WAS ALL TUCKED LIKE A BURRITO IN BED,
WHILE VISIONS OF DORA THE EXPLORER DANCED IN HIS HEAD.
AND ME IN MY TOE SOCKS, AND H. BEAR IN HIS... UNDER-ROOS
HAD JUST SETTLED IN FOR A LONG WINTER'S SNOOZE.
WHEN OUT IN THE CAUL-DE-SAC THERE AROSE SUCH A CLATTER,
I RACED FROM MY BED TO SEE WHAT WAS THE MATTER.
AWAY TO THE WINDOW I FLEW LIKE A KITE
PULLED APART TWO OF THE BLINDS, AND PEEKED INTO TO THE NIGHT.
MOONLIGHT SKIPPED OFF THE RAIN, AS IT FELL DOWN BELOW,
CRUSHING ALL HOPES FOR A RARE WESTERN OREGON SNOW.
WHEN WHAT TO MY MASCARA SMUDGED EYES SHOULD APPEAR,
BUT A MINIATURE SLEIGH, AND THREE TINY REINDEER,
WITH A LITTLE OLD DRIVER, SO LIVELY AND QUICK,
I KNEW RIGHT AWAY IT WAS FINGERS SAINT NICK.
MORE RAPID THAN GRIFFINDORS AT THE BIG QUIDDITCH GAME,
HE TRIED TO WHISTLE, BUT COULDN'T, SO HE CALLED THEM BY NAME.
"ON BIG BROTHER, SO TALL AND QUITE HANDSOME TO BOOT.
ON BRAIN, WITH YOUR FRECKLES SO NUMEROUS AND CUTE.
ON LITTLE SIS, THOUGH TOOTHLESS YOU SMILE IS BIGGEST OF ALL.
QUICK GET TO THE HOUSE
BEFORE MOM MAKES US PUT OUR NOSE ON THE WALL."
SO UP TO THE HOUSETOP THE COURSERS THEY FLEW,
WITH A SLEIGH FULL OF TOYS AND FINGERS NICOLAS TOO.
AS I DREW IN MY HEAD AND WAS TURNING AROUND,
DOWN THE CHIMNEY FINGERS SAINT NICKOLAS CAME WITH A BOUND.
HIS SANTA COSTUME WAS TOO BIG, AND DIDN'T QUITE FIT,
SO HE HAD TO KEEP PULLING HIS PANTS UP A BIT.
HIS EYES, HOW THEY TWINKLED! HIS DIMPLES, HOW MERRY!
HIS CHEEKS WERE LIKE ROSES. HIS NOSE.... A CUTE CHERRY!
HIS NEAT LITTLE MOUTH WAS DRAWN UP LIKE A BOW,
AND THE FAKE BEARD HANGING OFF OF HIS FACE:
WHITE AS SNOW.
HE HAD A LEAN LITTLE BODY, AND A FLAT LITTLE BELLY,
THAT REMINDED ME I NEED TO LAY OFF THE COOKIES AND JELLY.
HE WAS SKINNY AND THIN FOR AN OLD LITTLE ELF,
AND I LAUGHED WHEN I SAW HIM, IN SPITE OF MYSELF.
HE SPOKE NOT A WORD AND WENT STRAIGHT TO HIS WORK,
AND FILLED ALL THE STOCKINGS, THEN TURNED WITH A JERK.
HE PAUSED, AND LAID HIS FINGER INSIDE OF HIS NOSE
PULLED OUT A BUGGAR, THEN UP THE CHIMNEY HE ROSE.
HE JUMPED INTO HIS SLEIGH AND CALLED OUT TO HIS CLAN,
"TIME TO GO... TIME TO MAKE LIKE THE WONDER BREAD MAN."
BUT I HEARD THEM EXCLAIM AS THEY HAULED BUNS OUT OF SIGHT,
"MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!"
CAST OF CHARACTERS
IN ORDER OF APPEARANCE


The Snake
Played by: Himself
Age: 4
School: Not Yet
Job: Being Cute
Quote: "I saw that movie a long time ago... when I was very young."


H. Bear and BugGutz
Playing: Selves
Job: Dad, and Mom
School: Only the Bug
Pre-Nursing @ LB
Quote: "WE DON'T YELL IN THIS FAMILY"



Reindeer #1:
Big Brother
Age: 9
School: Santiam Christian, 4th grade
Job: Life
Quote: "ummm.... ummm... yea."




Reindeer #2
The Brain
Age: 8
School: Sunrise Elemenarty 3rd grade
Job: Helping his little brother buckle his seat belt.
Quote: "SNAKE!!! You can buckle yourslef!"


Reindeer #3
Lil Sis
Age: 6
School: Santiam Christian, Kindergarten
Job: Snuggling her Daddy
Quote: (after being tickled) "Do it again!"




Fingers Saint Nick
Played by: Mr. Stickey Fingers
Age: 6
School: Sunrise Elemenarty 1st grade
Job: Building awesome legos star ships
Quote: "How much dinner do I have to eat in order to get dessert?"




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